Storms ruled the first thousand years of life.
By the time I claimed my room, I turned into a zombie...
Suspended somewhere between the worlds within and outside...
Vaguely aware of either...
But then, existence needs more meaning, and spectacles need a windowpane...
Right here, I found mine…

Who am I? An average woman - trying to work on my share of maze through layers of haze...

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Rendezvous

Dated: End of 2002 ( B.Tech. 1st year)

It had just stopped raining…the air was still heavy with the smell of the sodden grass. Almost as deftly as a cat, Brishti stole her way up to the terrace…careful not to awake her parents. Was it past midnight? …She had no idea. The entire locality buzzes with life throughout the day…now it was a reign of death. An unknown enchantress had cast her magic spell over the entire world…everything was serene, silent, tranquil…. .The sweet music of the water droplets dripping down the leaves of the monstrous trees occasionally broke the calm of the hour. Brishti flung her arms up in the air casually …it was a rare sense of absolute freedom….” O my sky, my dear friend…will you too turn your face away from me?”, she whispered.

Brishti was groping for herself…. her restless eyes pierced through the darkness. Who was she? Where lay her real self? Year after year, she had looked at herself from others’ viewpoints; she had meekly slipped into the roles designed for her by her “well-wishers”. She had been burdened with the dreams of her parents, she had secretly groaned under its tremendous weight…but she kept on running and running and running, without the minutest complaint…. emerging as the school topper in each and every examination held in the past five years. And now that she had faltered in her steps for the first time in her life…why, the world around her seemed to crumble to pieces. Her entire life was rendered to a bundle of nothingness. Even the familiar affectionate faces had become so unfamiliar…

The Tears of the Sky

Dated: 10 Nov 2000 (Class XI)

“Twelve cops killed in Nepal clash”, “Bengal annex hockey title” … and well, it seems, “Suicide attempt by 1998 Madhyamik Calcutta topper”! It was the last news that made me jump to my feet, as I was glancing through the newspaper headlines before leaving for the school. Hey, didn’t I read the name Akash? Akash Bhattacharya? But why on the earth would he …. No, the idea seemed preposterous!

As I stood sweating in the overcrowded public bus heading Bhavanipur, where he lived, I wondered what left this amiable, tender-hearted, bit impractical but imaginative and versatile young boy without an option. A bright, happy collage of our childhood days flashed across my eyes. To think of the numerous afternoons we had spent together! The passionate discussions about Satyajit Ray, Shombhu Mitra, Lopamudra and Srikanto Acharya ….. about Spanish guitars and mouth organs, about the poems of Joy Goswami… putting in brief, what not! A couple of years older than me, Akash was then my next door neighbor and my best friend in the world. With a superficial air of seriousness and introversion, he was known by the entire circle of his acquaintances as an ideal “good boy” – rather, a bookworm. Who but me had realized that his true self was a hidden treasure-once you take the pain to dig it out, the wealth dazzles your senses! Akash had the heart of a creator. He had good potential in fine arts and music, and he secretly wrote wonderful poems too. Though it was primarily his exam scores for which he was cited as an ideal among his cousins and classmates. I still remember how boastful his parents were when Akash was declared District Topper in the Secondary exams’98.